Being rejected can really knock you back and shatter your self-image, making you feel unattractive and unwanted. But often rejection is actually an opportunity to work on ourselves and become the person we want to be. Handling rejection with grace and not allowing it to bring you down will be the best way to maintain your ex’s respect and show her what she’s missing.
And if she/he can see that you’re happy and moving on with your life, she/he may just start having second thoughts about letting you go. Continue below to find out how you get through this tough time with strength and dignity so that you can bounce back as an even better man than before.
1. Allow yourself time to feel the sting
Rejection can evoke some pretty painful emotions, such as sadness, loss, grief, humiliation, and anger. Naturally, you’re going to be feeling a bit low right now – this is okay. It’s important to actually allow yourself to feel these emotions, as trying to ignore them is only going to do yourself harm. So give yourself time to grieve about what could have been.
But then make a choice to let these feelings of sadness go and move forward. Allowing your low mood to drag on for weeks is unhealthy and will only make the situation worse. Use the tips below to learn how you can pick yourself up and regain a positive outlook following a rejection.
2. Respect her/his wishes
As much as you may want to be with this girl, you need to respect her wishes. It is never okay to beg for her to take you back or have an angry outburst – this will not do you any favors. Accepting that she does not want to be with you and handling this with grace will allow you to maintain your dignity and self-respect.
She/he may have treated you really unfairly or just plain hurt you by not returning your affections. But either way, this does not mean you should hate her. Hating her will only cause yourself more pain and allow the rejection to take over your mind. Don’t let her cause you any more pain than she already has.
Instead, accept her/his rejection and cease the contact between you right now – as excruciating as this may be. Because as long as you keep up the contact between you, you are not going to give yourself a chance to begin the moving on process.
Ending contact with her/him right now will also show her/him that you can make it on your own and don’t need her/him to support you through this. This will earn you a lot of respect in her/his eyes. And seeing you handle her/his exit from your life so easily is bound to shake her/his ego and get her/him thinking about what she/he has given up.
3. Don’t live in hope that she/he will change her mind
It’s natural that the idea of her/him regretting her mistake and wanting you back will cross your mind. But letting yourself be consumed by this idea will just cause you to put your life on hold and prevent you from moving on. To be frank, if she/he rejected you because he/she was not attracted to you or did not feel you are her/him type, that is not likely to change and trying to force it will only bring you unhappiness.
If you have broken up after a long-term relationship, chances are that maybe you were not so perfect together after all, and there is a girl/guy out there who will be a better match for you. Remember, she/he is just one woman or man in a whole ocean of possibilities.
4. Spend time with your mate.
Following a rejection, it’s important to spend time with close friends and family, so they can cheer you up and help to repair your self-confidence. A problem shared is a problem halved, and bottling up your feelings will only cause you pain. So allow your good mates to help you feel better – just like you would do for them the situation was reversed.
There is nothing more comforting than hearing “It’s her/his loss, not yours”, “She/he wasn’t good enough for you anyway”, or “Watch out, ladies/gentlemen!’ from your best buds. Just be sure to confide in your own friends – not hers/his. Trying to confide in her/his friends will just put them in an uncomfortable position and may cause her/him to lose respect for you. Believe me, it will NOT make your chances of getting back together any better.
5. Keep working on YOU
Often a rejection can be an opportunity for self-improvement. While you can’t change whether or not a girl /boy is attracted to you, you can always make positive changes to your own appearance and the way that you interact with others. So keep making an effort to look your best right now in every way you can – don’t let your hygiene or self-presentation slip.
Why not treat yourself to a slick new haircut or a new outfit? Indulging in hot chips and ice cream right now may give you a temporary fix to feeling miserable. But in the long-term, packing on the pounds is only going to worsen your self-esteem.
Instead, get in some exercise – working up a good sweat is a great way to burn off stress, release endorphins and get yourself in a positive frame of mind. Making positive changes to your health and well-being will increase your feelings of self-confidence and create positive energy which will attract others to you.
Although straight after a break-up isn’t a good time to be making any life-changing decisions, consider whether there is anything new you’d want to try in your life right now. Taking up a new hobby may help to take your mind off the break-up and give you a new source of purpose and enjoyment. For instance, perhaps you’d like to have a go at rock-climbing or taking up woodwork.
Every effort you make in working on yourself right now will only show her/him the greatest guy/gal, she/he is missing out on.
6. Keep up your normal routine
When we experience rejection, our world can suddenly be tipped upside down – especially if it comes out of the blue. The best way to stay on your feet during this time is to try to keep up your normal routine. So don’t let your life stop because of her/him because that’s exactly what she’s/he’s expecting. Instead, take her/him by surprise.
Getting yourself out of bed in the morning and doing what you usually do will help you to feel more in control of your emotions. So keep going to work, social events, sports practice, and anything else you’re into. Taking time off so you can wallow in sorrow at home is only going to make you feel worse – believe me.
7. Avoid going out to get drunk
Even though going out for a drink may be the first thing you feel like doing, drinking excessively is the worst thing you could do right now. Alcohol is something which can affect you in very different ways depending on what mood you’re in.
If you’re feeling happy and celebrating something special, a couple of beers can give you that extra buzz that adds to your already great mood. However, if you’re feeling down on yourself, alcohol is only going to amplify these negative feelings.
And even worse, drinking may lead you to do something you’re going to regret the next day – like calling the girl/guy who rejected you and begging her/him to change her/his mind. You don’t want to be that guy/gal, trust me. To find other, healthier ways to take the edge off. E.g. Hitting the gym with a friend.
8. Don’t go straight onto the next girl/guy
After suffering a rejection, it can be tempting to look for a fling or one night stand to help you to feel sexy and wanted again. But realistically, instead of helping you to heal, moving straight on to the next girl/guy is likely to only make you feel worse.
So take time to look after yourself and move on before you get back out in the dating ring. Remember, a great woman/man can add joy to your life, but true happiness comes from embracing who you are and feeling content with what you have, whether or not you are in a relationship.