A lot of people going through rough times will ask the question, “How Can I Stop My Divorce?” There is no real catch-all answer or solution to the question; each marriage and each person is different. There are some mistakes that are very commonly made, however, and from these we can learn what needs to be done to win back a partner and avoid mistakes.
The first common mistake is that a person will give lines that are meant as reassurances.
Saying that you will be better or that things have changed. This sort of line is rarely believed. It sounds desperate and truly insincere, and makes you appear weak in the eyes of your partner. It does not matter how sincere you are or how much you think they want to hear it. “I have changed’ will not stop my divorce!“
What will work is to not say anything. There will not be much that will convince them or reassure them. Actions are what are needed. Do not say that you have changed, actually change. You should be strong in working with you partner, and do the things that are needed to fix your relationship.
Another mistake made is to engage in emotional blackmail.
Saying “I love you,” is an obvious line, that makes it seem that you are attacking their weak point. That phase is one of the most powerful of phrases. It carries with it so much weight and power, that it is something that should not be used lightly. It should definitely not be used to try and fix a failing marriage.
How can you convey your love then? You might ask how you can “stop my divorce” if you never say “I love you?” You should not say “I love you” when you and your partner are in a weak emotional state. Save the line for when the marriage is mended. Otherwise, you will tax your spouse emotionally.
The next big mistake, to make is to argue.
“If they see their hypocrisy, that will stop my divorce.” Techniques of reason to change your spouses mind or attempting to guilt them to your side is destined for failure. One wants to be right and convince your partner that you are right, or you want to point out the failings of your partner. This sort of thing will only push you farther away.
The fix is to not argue. Do not enter into an argument, and do not start an argument. All that will do is add to the problem. “How can not fixing the problem stop my divorce?” The root of the problem can only come to light if you remove the competition and need to win.
“So, how can I stop my divorce,” you may ask. The short answer is to not attack and to use actions over words. It will be through being strong and making changes that things will change. “Words will not stop my divorce, logic and reason will only hurt, I must act and solve the problems without lip service.”
If you are still in need of help to stop your Divorce, I have the answer for you. Mort Fertel,
Author and Founder of The Marriage Fitness System For Relationship Renewal
Mort Fertel is a world authority on the psychology of relationships and has an international reputation for saving marriages from divorce. In addition to working with couples, he teaches individuals how to single-handedly transform their marital situation.
People from all over the world schedule private tele-sessions with Mort Fertel and seek his counsel by joining the Marriage Fitness Tele-Boot Camp.He is the author of Marriage Fitness Audio Learning System and the creator of Marriage Fitness Home-Flex, the most comprehensive relationship home learning kit in the world.
Over 100,000 people a year subscribe to his free e-zine .Mort Fertel was a featured expert on ABC, NBC, CBS, PBS, and the Fox News Network. He is also a frequent guest on talk radio programs.
His breakthrough program, Marriage Fitness,System For Relationship Renewal appeared in the New York Times, Huffington Post, Chicago Tribune, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, Family Circle, Psychology Today, Ladies Home Journal, Glamour Magazine, Parent & Child Magazine, Philadelphia Inquirer, Library Journal, Women’s Health, Denver Post, Orlando Sentinel, Baltimore Sun, and Toronto SunMort’s Marriage Fitness System For Relation Renewal program is endorsed by marriage counselors, therapists, relationship experts, and mental health professionals.