Finding the ideal Partner you are meant to spend the rest of your life with isn’t going to always happen quite like what you see in romantic films. Someone isn’t going to show up at your door in the soaking rain to tell you that they can’t imagine the world without you in it, or something else along those lines.
If they do, then kudos to you for getting the dramatic flair in your search for a better half. For the rest of you, there are some things that you should consider when it comes down to finding the ideal match for you.
If you take all of these following 21 points into your search, it might be easier for you to weed out the short term relationships and find the marriage partner that you were ultimately meant to find. Let’s get down to it then.
1. An Ideal Partner Is A Trustworthy Individual
This is perhaps one of the biggest issues in relationships today. Learning to trust someone can be difficult, but understand that not everyone deserves your complete trust. This is a condition that is earned, but if the person you are with is not giving you a reason that you shouldn’t be trusting them, then it is important that you find yourself able to do that.
If however, they give you a reason (or even several) to keep a closer eye on them, then it might be worth listening to your brain that this person isn’t going to be the ideal marriage partner for you.
2. An Ideal Partner Is A Loyal Individual
In a way, this ties in with trustworthiness, as you want someone that is completely loyal to you. Your significant other needs to consider you above other people in his life, and that can be where it gets tricky sometimes. There are plenty of temptations for you both when you are just dating, but when things get serious are these temptations still readily available and why are they persisting to be temptations at all? If this person was loyal, most complete sense, temptations and excuses would fizzle out.
3. An Ideal Partner Is An Honest Individual
How well do you know this person? Have you told them everything about yourself, or at the very least most of it? Have they done the same in kind? These are questions you need to know because lying and withholding information can become a relationship killer and a terrible habit that rolls from one relationship to the next.
Is this potential marriage partner honest with you about the things they’ve done in the past or since you’ve been together? You have to trust that what they’re saying is the truth, and if you do, then you can consider your mate an honest person.
4. An Ideal Partner Is An Open Minded Individual
Another trait that tends to fall hand in hand with honesty is openness. You need to be able to have a partner who is, for the most part anyway, transparent. You need to know that they are going to tell you what you need to hear and that what you need to know you can obtain from them. Being open about things is a two-way street, and it’s a vulnerable one to travel at times. When two people are open and honest with one another, they can begin a relationship that is rich and deep.
5. An Ideal Partner Is A Kind Individual
This is not a terribly uncommon trait to find, but lasting kindness can be. Anyone can be kind and polite throughout the initial dating period, but the relationship itself is what tends to show one’s true colors. Is your partner someone who is kind-hearted and cares about you and things in their lives?
Kindness extends to your family and your friends, and even dictates the kind of relationship you have and the communication you share. This is a trait that is easy to distinguish, and one that is essential for a lasting marriage.
6. An Ideal Partner Is A Giving Individual
A trait that can come along as a by-product of kindness is a person with a giving nature. These provide some of the best partnerships when two giving people find one another. This is a person that is willing to put your needs ahead of their own in situations.
The flip side of this is the selfish taker, who is committed to his/her own needs and wants, and only makes a collective effort with you when it is mutually beneficial to do so. A giving nature is a strong backbone to a successful marital endeavor.
7. An Ideal Partner Invest In You
Having someone that cares about what you care about is important. This doesn’t mean that they will ever be as into it as you are, but just showing an interest and appreciation for what matters to you is key. This is a selfless trait and will prove to lead into other key areas of your relationship.
8. An Ideal Partner Is Compromising Individual
This is a trait that is hard to come by anymore simply because generations of kids have been conditioned that they are what’s most important and their needs should come before anyone else’s. Finding someone who can meet you in the middle about almost anything is a trait worth preserving with a wedding band.
9. An Ideal Partner Is Funny
Not everyone needs to be a stand-up comedian, but you are more attracted to people who can make you earnestly laugh. This is a trait that can even be amplified when you are married.
Finding someone who is able to make you laugh regularly is a step towards finding your ideal mate. Bear in mind that people are going to try different ways to get you to laugh too, so don’t shy away about a girl or a guy who is willing to really ham it up to get you to crack a smile.
Sheri Stritof, a marriage expert writing with About.com talks about laughing with your spouse when she pen’s: “One of the great joys of marriage is the time that you, as a couple, spend laughing together and enjoying your sense of humor.” Laughter and Humor in Your Marriage, http://marriage.about.com
10. An Ideal Partner Is Not Into Drama
This is a key component to a successful marriage partnership. People have baggage that they carry around with them from relationships to relationships. Sometimes they don’t even know about the baggage until it is up in both of your faces.
Talk to your partner about their lives before you and make sure that they don’t have something looming around the corner in the form of a crazy ex, an overbearing mother/father, or worse yet present feelings for their past relationships.
11. An Ideal Partner Is An Emotionally Stable Individual
This is not something that is without merit on this list. There are plenty of people out there trying to get into relationships and they don’t seem to realize obvious signs that their boyfriend/girlfriend is a little on the crazy side. This is a good time to get some input from your close friends and your immediate family.
If they are telling you there are glaring issues, take the time to appreciate what they are saying. The last thing you want to do is amplifying the insecurities of an emotionally unstable person by marrying them.
12. An Ideal Partner Loves To Communicate
You need someone in your life that you can talk to about anything. Communication is the bedrock of successful marriages, and so it stands to reason that lasting relationships begin and end with being able to talk to one another. This is a trait that you need to be able to study while you are still dating.
Marriage is not going to improve your ability to talk to one another, and if this person is someone you want to share everything with and vice versa, you have a great way to begin a discussion of walking down the aisle.
13. An Ideal Partner Is Your Best Friend
Everyone likely has someone that they consider to be their greatest and best friend of all. As a relationship naturally progresses and things get more serious, that person should change from who it was to who you are seeing. They tend to become the person you want to share things with first, the person you want to have new experiences with, and the person that you need to vent to. If that isn’t the case, and you consider yourself in a serious relationship, you might question why they are not assuming that role.
Lisa Brookes Kift of Hitched Magazine writes: “Spouses who have a strong friendship have staying power in that they not only love each other but genuinely like each other. They enjoy spending time together and there is mutual respect.” ( Kift, 10 Qualities of Great Marriages, Hitched Magazine, www.hitchedmag.com
14. An Ideal Partner Is A Strong Individual
This is not necessarily just in a physical sense. Strength is a character trait that can represent a determination to succeed and to move forward towards bigger and better things. Having this trait in a marriage can stand to always have a foundation of wanting to improve things in a material sense while forming a glue that keeps the two parties close together.
15. An Ideal Partner Is Beautiful Individual, Inwardly and Outwardly
Beauty is an obvious choice in that physical attraction is key to any lasting relationship. Most relationships do not even begin without at least a hint of a physical draw. However, there reaches a point in that partnership where you have to scope out the inside beauty as well.
If someone is ugly and cruel on the inside, no amount of outside attractiveness will be able to sustain a marriage. If anything, you can be assured that beauty will fade and the only lasting beauty that exists is on the inside.
16. An Ideal Partner Is An Intimate Individual
This is something that tends to be taboo to talk about. Before you marry someone you are dating, you need to appreciate that they can be intimate. This does not necessarily indicate sexual relations, as plenty of people wait until they are married to do this. What it does mean is the time of being physically close, and a shared interest and desire to be that way often.
17. An Ideal Partner Is A Passionate Person
This is more in a sense of willing to defend what they feel is right or a point that needs to be made. Basically, is your significant other willing to argue with you to get their point across? This may not be such a bad thing. Assertive people are often more successful and can form long and successful marriages, which are more fulfilling to both people, over relationships of two passive people or a passive and an aggressive person.
18. An Ideal Partner Will Share They Views About Kids
A good quality in a person is one who shares your same views about children. This is a conversation that needs to be had before you tie the knot because it can be a big deal-breaker for couples. You need to be on the same page with wanting children and the amount of those children to save you from big icebergs along your journey.
19. An Ideal Partner Is Not Jealous Individual
This green-eyed monster known as jealousy is responsible for countless divorces. You simply have to find someone that you can trust isn’t going to become a jealous person over your marriage. Typically these behaviors surface in a serious dating relationship and can be indicated by controlling behaviors and a lack of trust on their end. See the signs (if there are any to be seen) before you say the vows.
20. An Ideal Partner Is Comfortable With Your Family And Friends
A good quality is a mutual approval of your family and friends against their approval of your potential marriage partner. If you are with someone that is against spending time with your family or your friends, or you spending time with their family and friends, then this can be a glaring red flag. A new relationship should not wedge between existing platonic relationships you already have, and getting the thumbs up from your network of trusted people can tell you you’re making a good decision.
21. An Ideal Partner Gives You A Comforting Feeling
That is what this quality is best described as. When you are with the right person, it is often suggested that you have a certain feeling that can tell you you’re exactly where you should be. This can be as simple as “butterflies in your stomach” or an overall elation. It can also be attributed to a certain draw people have to be around one another as often as possible.
Take a few moments and take this list of qualities against the relationship you are currently in. Ensure that your potential marriage stands a fighting chance by looking at the facts right now.
You cannot change a person dramatically, so if they are failing in more than one of the aforementioned areas, it might be time to cut your losses and see what else the sea has in terms of eligible fishes.
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