Sex life should be fun and playful, even passionate people in a loving relationship or marriage can struggle with keeping things in the bedroom fun and exciting. Don’t let your sex life stagnate and become dull.
These 19 tips for spicing up your sex life are sure to be just the thing you need to experience a better sex life when you follow these tips, everything will become a whole lot sweeter.
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1. Role play is the first in our ways to spice up your sex life.
Acting out each other’s fantasies helps to keep things from getting stagnant and builds trust, as sharing fantasies and being able to fully explore them can be a vulnerable experience. This strengthens your emotional intimacy which is the base for greater sexual intimacy and pleasure.
2. Don’t be intimidated or put off by the wide variety of adult sex toys.
Many are tastefully designed to improve sex life, increasing pleasure for both women and men. But the key here is to remember that sex toys are an addition to your bedroom repertoire, not a replacement for your partner. Sex toy use should be coupled with adequate manual and oral stimulation so that dependency upon the toy for orgasm is avoided.
3. Talk dirty to each other.
The best sex stimulates all of your senses, and full body arousal starts with your mind. Whispering naughty phrases about what you feel and want to do to your partner is a great way to set the stage for what’s to come as well as highlight your moves and let your partner know what you would like them to do to you and what you would like to do to them. For a better sex life, it’s a good idea to first figure out what you and your partner are both comfortable with.
Some words, such as “daddy” can trigger feelings of unease and discomfort, as can certain words referring to specific parts of the human body. It’s also important to remember that dirty talk doesn’t need to be vulgar or involve swear words.
In the most basic form, dirty talk is just a way to let your partner know that you really like what they’re doing to you. Simple phrases like “oh, I love how you feel inside of me” or ” you taste so good” are perfect examples of naughty things to say without cussing like a sailor or sounding like a porn star. But remember to talk to each other first so that when it matters most, neither of you says something that ruins the moment.
4. Make time for each other not just for sex.
Make time for each other not just for sex, but to just to be together, enjoying each other’s company and reminding yourselves what brought the two of you together in the first place. Be sure to talk, sharing your thoughts and feeling. Setting aside one night a week or even a month to go on a date, just like you were still teens, can become the base of a better sex life.
Sexual intimacy starts with emotional intimacy. A well-rounded relationship built on friendship, trust, mutual appreciation, and sincere interest and concern for each other naturally translates to greater sexual intimacy and better sex life.
5. Take time to learn your body, discovering what you like and how to give yourself the most pleasure.
And be sure to learn your spouse’s body, finding out what makes them squirm, what techniques are too much, and which are just right. Knowing what you like and how to please your partner is one of the most effective ways to spice up your marriage sexually. Communicate this to your spouse, even showing them exactly how to give you the most pleasure.
6. Go slow.
Great sex isn’t about racing to the finish line, both of you desperately trying to see who can orgasm first. Great sex is about building and maintaining pleasure for as long as possible, then releasing all of that built up tension at just the right moment.
For women, sex is a whole body experience, with erogenous zones scattered across their bodies. This is why some women really get off on having their neck’s kissed or the insides of their thighs lightly stroked. Begin by focusing on exciting the nerve endings across her skin, this not only helps to get her in the right mindset but brings blood to the surface of her skin, increasing her sensitivity, thereby heightening overall pleasure.
You can do this with a sensual full body massage or by just running your fingertips gently across her body, following her natural contours and swirling about her curves. Remember, you don’t want to relax her too much, rather, you should aim to relieve tension from large muscles (such as back, and shoulders) and overworked parts of her body (such as legs, feet, and hands.)
Once these areas are relaxed, focus on stimulating and enticing her through teasing strokes and lightly wandering hands as you massage the rest of her body.
7. Remember that things can and do change.
So, what worked for either of you when you first got together may not work now. Women especially are prone to bodily changes due to changing hormone levels as part of growing older. This can mean that certain positions may become uncomfortable, lubrication may be a necessity, and things that were a big no-no before may be the best turn on now.
And men change, too, with sexual interest and ability lasting for many years. Besides the natural and unavoidable effects of aging, there are daily factors, such as stress, that can affect sexual interest, preferences, and performance. This is another reason why communication is so critical when it comes to creating and maintaining a better sex life.
8. Show each other that you care every day.
Little things like gentle touching, a hand on the back as you pass by each other in the kitchen, a soft kiss on the cheek as one of you leaves the room, and a warm embrace just because, can go a long way to maintaining the emotional intimacy that only leads to a better sex life and helps to spice up your marriage sexually.
9. Avoid criticism.
It’s only natural that there will be something that your partner does in the bedroom that annoys you or is a complete turn-off. When talking about what you like and dislike, try to focus on the positives. What does your partner do that really gets you going? With the things that are not so good or enjoyable, what can your partner do to improve or change what they’re doing?
While it’s tempting to say, “I really hate it when you__” it’s much more effective and helps you to have a better sex life to say something like, “That’s good, but you know what would make it even better?How about we__.” In this way, you validate your partner and remind them that they excite you and can meet your needs and fulfill your desires.
10. It’s okay to schedule sex.
With work, appointments, and necessary errands, it’s easy to be exhausted by the end of the day and not in the mood. But scheduling sex makes it a priority, helping to break up the monotony of day to day life, and give you both something to look forward to.Keeping sex important will only improve sex life and bring you closer together.
11. Try a new position.
Who says the guy always has to be on top? Different sexual positions not only change your body position, but they change what areas are being stimulated and how much stimulation they receive. Experiment with different angles for different amounts of penetration and pressure.
Try getting down on all fours, stand against a wall, bend over across the table, your imagination is the limit when it comes to exciting new positions to improve sex life.
12. Do exercises to strengthen your PC muscles.
The PC muscles lay along your pelvic floor and contribute to stronger and longer orgasms for both men and women, as well as lasting power, and more powerful erections for men. These muscles are also responsible for stopping the flow of urination.
Clench down on these muscles, hold for a few seconds, release, and then repeat numerous times. For men, tightening the PC muscles can delay orgasm and contribute to longer lasting time.
13. Try a different location.
Sex needn’t be confined to the bedroom! There are so many places that lend themselves well to sexual exploration. When was the last time you had sex in the shower? On the living room floor? What about outside?
Being somewhere different, with all of the associated taboos (sex in the kitchen? what?!) and especially if there’s a chance of getting caught is one of the best ways to spice up your marriage and sex life, sexually speaking.
14. Have sex regularly.
While it is true that abstaining from sex can build desire and increase the amount of ejaculate in men, Harvard experts advise that “For men, long periods without an erection can deprive the penis of a portion of the oxygen-rich blood it needs to maintain good sexual functioning” which can contribute to inability to maintain or achieve an erection.
But, they’re not the only ones who need regular loving. Regular sex and sexual stimulation help to maintain and increase vaginal elasticity in women, affording them a tighter feel and more intense orgasms, as well as reducing vaginal dryness that comes with menopause.
15. Limit smoking and alcohol use.
Nicotine use contributes to the loss of blood flow to the genitals, causing lack of sensitivity and erection problems for men. While alcohol dulls the central nervous system and can help you to relax, excessive drinking can make you relax too much, dulling physical sensations and decreasing the ability to achieve an erection.
16. Don’t lose your sense of humor.
Sex should be fun and playful, and maintaining a positive attitude outside of the bedroom, where you and your partner feel comfortable joking and laughing together, is a great start for achieving a better sex life. This also means not taking sex too seriously.
If you mess up a new move or technique or one the consequential sounds of two bodies grinding on each other is a little loud, it’s okay to laugh about it. Just make sure that it doesn’t stop you from pleasuring each other.
17. Exercise regularly.
Not only does regular exercise keep you fit and healthy, but it also boosts your sexual health, too, giving you the stamina for those marathon all-nighters the two of you had when you first met and reducing the risk of certain medical conditions that can severely limit your ability to perform.Plus, exercise tones and strengthens your body, making your more attractive which will only excite your partner more.
18. Watch what you Eat.
A good diet includes whole grains, fresh fruit and vegetables, limited sweets and fats, and plenty of water. This helps give you a better sex life by keeping excessive weight gain down and improving your overall health and appearance.
19. Spend time together hanging out with your friends and sharing each other’s hobbies.
This can lead to a better sex life, because not only are you spending more time together doing the things you love, but your keeping your partner in the forefront of your life, rather than regulating them to your home life while your friends and interests are a part of your personal life.
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